Maple Bacon-Wrapped Pork Cutlets:
3-4 pork loin cutlets (thick-cut)
6-8 slices of bacon
1/8 cup pure maple syrup
2 Tb unsalted butter
fresh ground pepper
Directions: Start a separate pot of boiling water for the egg noodles; cook as directed for al dente and set aside. Melt butter in iron skillet over medium heat. Dry pork cutlets with paper towel; season with salt and pepper. Wrap bacon around cutlets (about 2 pieces each); place in hot skillet. Turn heat down to medium-low and drizzle with half the maple syrup. Brown first side (~10 minutes). Flip cutlets; pour additional syrup over browned side and cook for an additional 10 minutes (or until done).
* If you get down with the super thick cutlets like me (dang!), you may need to prop them up on the side of the pan, or create a “snuggle fest” by stacking those chops upright in the center of the pan (until all edges are browned). See photo below, if I sound like a crazy person…and yes, I said “snuggle fest! Just look at those cute lil’ cutlets all huddle together in a pool of sweet maple fat!
As soon as those porkies are done, set aside and wrap in foil to keep warm. Drain all but 3 tablespoons of bacon fat-butter from the pan and get ready to make the gravy!
Spiced Holiday Gravy
3-4 Tb all-purpose flour
2 1/2 cups whole milk
2 Tb apple cider vinegar
2 dashes paprika
1 dash ginger
1 dash nutmeg
1 dash cardamom
1 dash clove
fresh ground pepper
Directions: Over medium-low heat, whisk flour into skillet oil to create a thick roux. Pour in milk gradually while whisking until all milk is combined and mixture is lump-free. Add more milk if gravy is too thick. Add all spices; salt and pepper generously. Simmer over medium-low until gravy thickens and is smooth. Add apple cider vinegar and pre-cooked egg noodles; simmer over low-heat for 3-4 minutes.
Side Dish Inspiration:
Sautéed Shredded Brussels Sprouts
1 lb fresh brussels sprouts
2 Tb reserved bacon fat
3 Tb balsamic vinegar
fresh ground pepper
Directions: Trim brussels sprout stems; remove any damaged leaves. Cut in half and slice thinly into shreddings. Throw into hot skillet with 2 tablespoons reserved bacon fat; cook until tender (~5 minutes). Add balsamic vinegar; turn heat on high and continue to cook for 1-2 minutes. Salt and pepper!
Put it all on a big plate, unbutton your jeans, pour a glass of sparkling apple cider, and slide right into the Holidays!
Happy Holidays to all you darling people out there!
Before we dive into the wildness below, let’s open your holiday card!
Aww, you’re welcome!
I hope your days are filled with mountains of mashed potatoes, buckets of Bûche de Noël, garbage pails of gravyliciousness, and truck beds of holiday turkey-ham! I’m certain there’s more than enough people out there to fill a gravy barge who relate to me and my love for the smothering sauce – and this is why I feel so comfortable expressing some of my deepest secrets here. Wait, did you say gravy barge, Ivy? Does that even exist?!!! Why yes I did – and yes it does! And here is one to prove it!
Ok, so maybe I didn’t fool all you seasoned Photoshop gurus out there, but I bet I had some of ya for a second!
Today marks year two-in-a-row for spending my holidays away from my hometown and family, so I’ve been on quite the reminiscing roll lately. San Francisco is a marvelous place to spread your holiday cheer around, (you can smear it across the entire 7-mile city in just under an hour – which means more time to ride the gravy barge). However, nothing beats going back home to my folks in Florida, where both brown and white gravy resides at pretty much any restaurant, coffee shop, truck stop, parking lot – you name it! Ah, there’s such a carousel of fine memories to share, but since it’s Gravy Friday I think I’ll stick to the ones that just happened upon the table cloth…
When grandma’s gravy boat hit that tablecloth during the Holidays, the true fun unfolded. My mind would explode like confetti, full of exciting questions and analytical break-downs such as:
- If I pass the turkey tray over the gravy boat with my left hand, will it cast a dark enough shadow to hide my right hand while it grabs the gravy before anyone else?
- If I don’t get to that gravy boat first, what are the chances there will be any gravy skin left for me?
- If the gravy skin is gone, how long must the gravy sit untouched before the magical skin reappears?
- How much longer are we going to say grace?
- Why is there only one gravy boat for 20 people?
- Will granddaddy sling extra servings of gravy in his eyebrows again and claim he’s saving it for later?
- Look at how the candlelight shimmers off the tiny bubbles of gravy oil, like city lights on a brown velvet hill…
I wish I could say that these thoughts only existed during my childhood, but they actually followed me well into my late teens – and some still linger today (especially the gravy skin question). However, this is rather normal brainwork for a gravy enthusiast! It’s not like I’m conjuring up schematics to a gravy bomb on my napkin. I’m just pondering the daily concerns of a woman’s life in a gravy world. Just in case you will be wondering, I have many more of these ponderings to share with you in the near future. But for now…
Alas! The mental scrapbooks are going back into the closet, and it’s time unleash a special Holiday Gravy Friday Recipe for all you good boys and girls (and naughty ones too)! Now that I think of it, this recipe is very naughty…
7 Ways to Honor Thy Gravy
Just a smidgen please, Mr. Butlersworth…
This is the Cadillac of all gravy boats. What a grandiose way to float your gravy in style by presenting it in this antique 1724 Sterling Silver Gravy Boat, currently up for auction on eBay. It’s only $4500! Sadly, the white-gloved Mr. Butlersworth is not included.
Got the gravy boat Meh’s? Then represent with a fountain!
Why not?! Wayne Rooney says it’s “F-ing brill!” Plus, the photo below shows the work of someone who really brought this concept to life: The Recirculating Gravy Fountain. That plywood gives me fond memories of preparing for a hurricane back in the south. Mmm….can you imagine what delectable devastation that Hurricane Gravy could bring?! (Thank you Rita Lux for the photo!)
Not impressed by the lack of variety in your average gravy boat & fountain? Then ahoy the No-Drip Gravy Separator!
This is the Jekyll and Hyde of gravy boats. The No-Drip Gravy Separator is perfect for couples with opposing gravy personalities. What…you never thought that far ahead into your gravy love life? This is why I’m here for you. Now you have the chance to allow your dearest schnookums to enjoy a nice lean gravy, which in return, rewards you with more gravy fat skin for your smoothering pleasure!
I’ve got gravy on me fingas!
This is 100% legit. A Japanese Curry Gravy Ring, brought to you by SouZouCreations on Etsy. Just look at that adorable tonkatsu pork cutlet just moments away from being swallowed by that sizzling ocean of brown gravy. One-of-a-kind for $12.50. Oh yes Gravy, I do!!!
Give the taste of victory a whole new meaning!
Referred to as “one of the World’s craziest culinary competitions”, the WGW (World Gravy Wrestling) Championships is going 3 years strong! Competitors have 2 minutes to show off their strengths, while wallowing around in a pool of warm, slippery heaven.
Melt away the day, the brown way.
Okay, so maybe that’s just a photo of someone’s rusty pipe water…but wouldn’t it be nice? I think so! Perhaps a creamy milk gravy bath to soften those rough heals after a long day?
Have a phat pint!
Got an abundance of gravy leftovers, or are you out of substantial food items in which to drizzle your gravy? Invite your best bud over and pour them a nice phatty pint of Ye Ole’ Gravyport instead! It’ll go down slow, warm your soul, and salt your innards. L’chaim!
Chocolate gravy?! Well in all my born days…
If you have yet to hear of chocolate gravy, let’s take care of that right now. We’ve all slathered our pancakes with sweet maple syrup, smeared our toast with Nutella™, and peanut-buttered-and-jellied our bread, right? Well then there’s no reason why you have not chocolafied your gravy! If it sounds too weird, just try and think of it like hot chocolate pudding, or a sweet cream gravy like Béchamel sauce – all gone cuckoo for cocoa. Tasting homemade chocolate gravy may bring you one step closer to gravy utopia, “This I promise you.” (quote courtesy of ‘N Sync).
Before we dive in first, some Chocolate Gravy 101!
There are a few different theories on its origin:
- Began in the homes of the Appalachian Mountains and the Deep South about 100 years ago (around the time Hershey’s Cocoa Powder made its way into the country pantry)
- Influenced by the Spanish roots of Louisiana merging with the Tennessee Valley
- Possibly passed on from the Appalachian Melungeons as far back as the 16-17 century
One thing’s for sure though. Chocolate gravy is:
- freaking delicious over biscuits, toast, bacon, and even eggs! (I also like it poured over crumpets)
- a real special treat for Sunday morning
- a nearly forgotten southern tradition that needs your sweet lil help to survive (Viva la internet!)
Now, let’s get out your iron skillet, sauce pan, or double boiler (for the burn-prone) and make some gravy!
This is a tried-and true recipe, modified by myself with an added ‘kick’. As most recipes go, it’s open for room to experiment!
Ivy Something’s Spicy Chocolate Gravy
- 1/3 cup cocoa powder (or more, depending on how chocolafied you want your gravy!)
- 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 2/3 cup organic powdered sugar (granulated also works just fine)
- 2 cups whole milk
- 2 1/2 tablespoons sweet cream butter (or bacon fat)
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla
- salt (to taste)
- a few hefty dashes of cayenne pepper
- Heat skillet or sauce pan over medium-low heat, add butter (or bacon fat) until melted.
- Sprinkle in flour slowly and whisk until smooth.
- Add chocolate and sugar, whisk until fully blended and cook for about 1-2 minutes, careful to not burn.
- Slowly add milk, whisk continuously to prevent lumps.
- Add vanilla, salt, and cayenne.
- Cook a few minutes until gravy becomes thick. Whisk in more milk for a thinner gravy.
- If your gravy ever comes out lumpy, just whirl it in the blender until smooth!
- For added excitement, add crumbled bacon! This is not a trend – bacon and chocolate gravy have a long harmonious history together!
You may also find and share this recipe at Food.com
- Pour over hot biscuits, crumpets, toast, pancakes, eggs, bacon, your face – anything you please!
- Put it in a fancy bowl and pretend you’re on the farm with Zsa Zsa Gabore!
“Chocolate gravy is the place to be!”
I dedicate this Gravy Friday to my chocolate-loving friend, Emilee Schumer. She was the inspiration (and 5-star hospitality) behind it all.
Does your family have a prized chocolate gravy recipe? I’m drooling to hear about it!
With Halloween approaching, I thought it’d be a great time to unleash the freaky side of gravy. I am often guilty of making gravy that is nearly too hot for the kitchen, yet alone the average gravy post. Those who already follow my facebook might know what I’m talking about. Today, I will unleash some of the FREAKIEST, SEXIEST, and HOTTEST gravy in the WORLD! If there are any children in the room, you might want to ask them if the mail has arrived and have them go outside and check…
Below you will see 100% exclusive GRAVY GONE WILD photographs!
ALL ORIGINAL, RAW, UNCENSORED GRAVY ACTION!
CATCH SOME OF MY HOTTEST GRAVY:
• RAW IN THE KITCHEN
• NUDE IN THE SKILLET
• DRIPPING DOWN MASHED POTATO MOUNTAINS
• SMOOTHERING EVERYTHING
• AND MORE!
No need to become a member – you can see it all below…
Golly Gee Willikers, that’s some FREAKY GRAVY! 100% RAW and ready to boil!
Oh my! Look at those luscious gravyfalls pouring down the mountain!
Party Gravy is always a hit! No surface goes untouched…
My goodness, such shameless gravy! Bare naked in the skillet…
Gravy so slick and steamy, it causes a biscuit avalanche!
I bet you always wondered how gravy takes a bath?
Whew! That sure was steamy hot! I think it’s time for a cold shower.
Do you know about some freaky gravy as well? Do tell!
Stay tuned for the recipes to these scandalous gravy concoctions! And always, keep submitting your gravy material for future post consideration! Much more gravy this way comes…
PASS THE GRAVY, IT’S FRIDAY!!!
If you happen to possess a heart melting (yet borderline disturbing) love for gravy like I do…then let me extend my toasty oven mit and shake your darling little hand! Welcome, fellow gravy partner! Now before I continue, if you are a non-gravy fan please head on over to gravyhatersanonymous.org – and let me take this moment to truly wish you all the best with your dry-biscuit-and-naked-chicken-fried-steak future. If you do change your mind later on and want to join me over here on the gravyside, I’ll be waiting…or wading rather, in my luscious gravy pool anticipating your return. With that said, all gravy lovers proceed!
By now you probably realize that gravy is my very best friend. I sometimes believe its warm, binding qualities are responsible for holding my very existence together when times are rough, or that it’s the life fuel marinating deep within my veins. I dream about it, sing about it, yearn for it – I may even pledge allegiance to it if I’m feeling political and it’s election time. About once a week I bust out my iron skillet and whirl up some southern gravy, just like my Great Grandma used to make – because that’s what makes me happy. So you get it, I’m gravy crazy. If you are new to gravy hankering, it won’t take long to fall in love, or at least live vicariously through my love. And I’m always down to share some love.
What’s Gravy Friday? It was inspired by David “Pawn” Sandstrom when he replied to one of my many gravy-related tweets this morning, asking me to make a song called Gravy Friday. One thing led to the next and wah-lah, Gravy Friday was born! Proof you say? Hold your hats…
Since David is such an awesome fella, I decided to not only start a song called Gravy Friday in his honor today, but I thought I should make Gravy Friday an official weekly jubilee for everyone to partake in. By official, I mean announcing it on this here blog and hoping you do a little dance or something from excitement…and of course celebrate by sending me your favorite gravy happenings!
So basically my darlings, Gravy Friday is whatever you want it to be as long as the gravy’s invited! I bet you’re wondering how many times can I type “gravy” and “Friday” in this post? Maybe I should start referring to it as GF…
Well alright! I celebrated my first official GF for breakfast this morning. Fresh San Francisco sourdough, hashbrowns, eggs, and chicken gravy!
What makes you wanna celebrate Gravy Friday?
Feel free to pour some photos, stories, links, or gravy on me! I will post your greatest pickin’s every Friday!
Beige, yellow, brown, white – all gravies shall unite.
Your Gravy Godmother